Adversity

Yuck.

Medically I have not had a fun year. The medical professionals are able to have a nice lifestyle thanks to me. I'm just glad I could be helpful, I guess.

It seems I have now torn my left rotator cuff. Bad. Real bad. Surgery followed by six weeks of sling then stretching and 6 to 8 months of rehab. Sounds like fun.

Now I suppose I should look at the bright spots. I have insurance. I have a good doctor. I have all the support I need. It really will be okay. Painful, but okay.

What bugs me really is the way I react to adversity. My initial response is to play through the pain. Then I'm the good soldier who fights on not worrying about my own wounds. What follows then is an impatience that I'm not better in my time frame or I'm not "the way I was." then what follows is a low sense of self and then self pity.

That's what really bothers me about this year of medical adversity. I do not want to go down the path of "poor, pitiful me." Besides being kind of pathetic, it is just not a faithful response. I mean, worrying about what is wrong or painful is to just lose focus on what God might do through the dark time. When else will I, or any of us, be ready to recognize the power of God other than when we feel pretty powerless?

So, I guess I better figure out what God wants to do during this time of my powerlessness. I guess I will need to pull my focus away from my dissapointments (not being able to dove hunt for one) and fears (like how I will manage Sunday mornings) towards how God is going to use this to move his kingdom plan forward.

I heard one of the summer camp counselors say yesterday that one of is main learnings this year was to come to understand that God wanted his ministry offering but didn't need him.

Pretty profound.

God wants our ministry offering. We were created to do "good works" (Eph. 2:10) but God doesn't need you or me. We are not indispensible to God's plan. But we are a part of God's plan.

Confusing? Yep. For me too. But here's what I know tonight: God's plan of salvation involves my participation no matter what adversity I am facing in my life. I also know that God's plan of salvation includes you too no matter what adversity you are facing. In fact, we have a God who will take whatever we offer - including our offering Him our adverse situations - and will use them to bring about His salvation.

Painful as rotator cuff surgery and rehab will be, I doubt I will suffer more than God as an innocent man, His only Son, hung and died on a cross. And if God can bring a whole new, redeemed life from that, you and I should be okay in spite of whatever life tossed at us.

Comments

[kabsav]

Ouch. I know the disappointment. I had to bite the bullet and have ankle surgery 4 years ago, and that put me on the couch with my leg in a cast for a good 6 weeks. I went back to work after 3 although I wasn't supposed to, but I still had to keep it elevated all the time.

It took a very long time to fully get my strength back -- but I did learn a lot about myself during that time. Perhaps most importantly I learned how to ease up a little and let others do things for me, which is hard for me because it means giving up some control. Truth be told, though, I really had no choice in allowing others to help me because I physically could not do certain things myself.

Two other positives:

1) catching almost every televised moment of the Athens 2004 Summer Olympics, and

2) making a serious dent in my ever-growing stack of books during physical therapy sessions, justifying a trip to Barnes & Noble to replenish the pile!

We're all praying for ya, Ram.